Giving chance a chance
- Priya Venkatesan
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
I have left no stones unturned for my promotion . I don't like to leave anything to chance.said a senior executive looking forward to his promotion. Two months later when it didn't pan out, he was very upset. Disappointment let to anger and anger to passive aggressive behaviour.
Colleagues who worked with him for long, could not understand the 'new him'.
He was completely convinced his behaviour was justified and that he was wronged.
Until one day, he got a feedback from his Business Head that they were considering him for a Global role with promotion but now are doubtful whether he will make the cut with his behaviour.
As a coach, I see many different versions of the above play out.
When, what we solicit doesnt happen (or) what we did not solicit does happen, we are pushed into a high tide of emotions which is but fair.
But when we do not process these emotions and allow overthinking to happen on top of them, what is left is just suffering and less optimum performance.
Banking on your agency is really a good thing.
Hating chance is not.
Underneath the hate, there could be a fear that what you want can't happen.
Underneath the fear is a belief that life happens only according to the way you want to play.
Yes Life happens for you. But it doesn't necessarily happen the way you want to play.
When life doesn't happen the way you anticipated, it offers you:
a chance to respond (not react) to it
a chance to make the most of it
a chance to offer you a learning which you thought you never need.
'The book of Ichigo Ichie' by Hectot Garcia and Francesc Miralles offers some nuggets for you to take a chance and play the game that you did not fully embrace.
Ichigo Ichie (Japanese) -
One time, One meeting (English);
Every moment is unique and non-repeatable.
What you are experiencing now will never happen again.
You never cross the same river twice.
If such is the case,
how would you choose to respond to this moment - whether it brings disillusionment, sadness, joy or surprise?
what chance would you give yourself when things don't happen your way?
What does it take to move from 'seize the moment' to 'let the moment seize us?'
2. The Second Arrow
From the Buddha, we realize,
Pain (First arrow) is inevitable, suffering (Second arrow) is optional.
When life doesn't go as planned, bear with the anguish of the pain. Let go of the suffering. The second arrow hurts most when you don't let go.
What does it take to let go of the second arrow?
Is the second arrow real or a thought in your head?
Amor Fati (Love of Fate)
Things that happen to you will connect only in retrospective (Steve Jobs).
Things happen for a reason. Easy to say. Difficult to see in the present indeed.
But can't be missed in the future.
This is to say: face chance with more love than hate.
Upgrade your senses to notice synchronicity so that you can trust tomorrow will be different.
How would you embrace reality you didn't think about?
What if fate brings better things than you imagined?
One can judge a person by the way they handle defeat! How would you like to handle it?
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